5 Things I’ve Learned in 5 Years of Marriage

Today, Ryan and I are celebrating our 5th anniversary!

It’s kinda crazy to think we’ve been married for five whole years. We’ve known each other since 7th grade and started dating the end of 11th grade. We’ve literally been together for a decade!

The Proposal

Before I share five things I’ve learned, I want to share with you how the proposal went down. I graduated college and the next day I left for a month long trip to Europe. This, obviously, gave Ryan the perfect time to plan. I would return on May 30, 2014.

Back-up a bit before that night… Ryan started sending me flowers in January. He’d send them on the 30th or 31st of each month while I was at college. He was sending subtle hints that he was going to do something grand on one of those dates. Me, however, being completely clueless to the dates, just thought he was being sweet and sending me flowers right at the time I’d have to throw the others out.

Anyway… May 30th comes around and Ryan is freaking out because he thinks I know that he’s going to propose. We had a long layover in Charlotte so me and another friend decided to get our nails done (looking back, I’m so glad we did!). But, yet, I was still totally clueless.

When our plane landed, all the other girls from the trip were taking their sweet time before seeing their families. I was like “Y’all come, on!” I was literally thinking why aren’t we running to see our parents and friends? It’s been a whole month since we’ve been able to see them. Again, little did I know, that one of the girls was alerted of the proposal and so they all were standing back a bit.

I was first greeted by my dad with one single rose. I was a bit confused and immediately asked where the rest of my family was. He said something along the lines of just keep walking. I then looked up and saw a line of all my family members and closest friends. Each standing with a single rose to hand me. I don’t think it dawned on me what was about to happen until I got to my Aunt Sarah.

So, I finally make it to Ryan, where I give him the worlds longest hug. Once I let go (because I really wanted to see my ring!), he got down on one knee and asked, “Kaitlyn Miranda Scott, Will you marry me?” Apparently I didn’t say “yes” I just nodded over and over. And, well, the rest is history.

And, now that I’ve shared with you the proposal story, it’s time to dive into why you’re really reading this blog, if you haven’t already just skipped ahead.

5 Things I’ve Learned in 5 Years of Marriage¬†

Side Note: I’ve definitely learned WAY more than just 5 points below, but for simplicities sake, I’m only sharing five so you don’t have to read a novel today. (You’re welcome.)

1. Love Your Partner in Their Love Language, Not Just Yours

You may have already heard this before, but it is so crucial to loving your partner fully.

My love languages are words of affirmation and gifts. Ryan’s love language is time and acts of service. I’ve had to learn to express to Ryan that I really need to be reminded often that he loves me and thinks I’m pretty. (Totally sound like a typical white girl here, but it’s true.) Ryan constantly SHOWS me in acts of service that he loves me, but I still have to physically hear those things. Because, words of affirmation is one of my love languages.

For Ryan, he’s had to tell me that when we are spending time together (even if it’s watching a movie) that he’d like that I not be on the computer or checking my phone, etc. If we are going to watch a movie, we are going to watch the movie. This was super difficult for me at first because I love multitasking. I’ve also learned, that one act of service, that he always enjoys (and, I do too) is having dinner ready when he gets home. He always says thank you and then helps with dishes. Plus, it gives us time to catch up after a busy day. And, now, we get to have dinner with Lincoln and it just makes it all the greater. Which brings me to my next lesson…

 

2. You Think You Love Your Partner Until… Kids

Y’all seriously, I love Ryan with every ounce of me, but once Lincoln was born it’s like I instantly had more ounces of love to give. My heart feels like it could explode out of my chest at times with all the joy and love that I feel for my two guys.

3.  Things Will Get Awkward, Embrace Those Moments

It is inevitable to not having awkward and embarrassing moments in marriage. You cannot get around it. The moments will come and just when you thing you’re over all the awkward moments, another moment happens. But, something I’ve learned is to embrace those exact moments because those awkward moments are what make our relationship even stronger.

I’m going to get really personal here and if you don’t want to hear a strange birth story, then skip onto the next point. When I was in the hospital after having Lincoln, I struggled with moving around and doing simple things, like going to the bathroom. I had a c-section so bending up and down was just rough. One day, I had gotten up with the help of Ryan who escorted me to the bathroom. Everything was going great until my mesh underwear fell below my arms reach. Mortified, I had to call for Ryan to come help me pull my underwear back up. And, let me tell you, I was definitely not feeling sexy in that moment. But, Ryan being the gracious man that he is, did it without complaint as if it was the most natural thing. That was a super embarrassing, raw moment for me that I had to ask my husband to help me such a simple task, but he did it without question. That memory has become one of those that constantly remind me why I love him. So, additional lesson, marry someone who will help you pull your underwear up when you can’t.

 

4. Make Time for Yourself

Ryan and I were never that couple that had to spend every waking hour together. I account it to the fact that Ryan and I did have a long-distance relationship in college. But, it prepared me for something important in marriage and that’s to make time for yourself.

Yes, Ryan and I are a team. We are one. But, you don’t have to do everything together. In fact, it’s so important that you have your own hobbies outside of your spouse. Ryan will go hunting on the weekends. Me, I’ll go to my parents and help my mom with an art project or go to a bookstore and just browse the aisles. It doesn’t matter what it is you do, but just make sure that you are still having “you time.”

 

5. You’re Always growing Which Means Your Relationship is Always Growing

I think this is self explanatory. But Ryan and I are not the same people that we were in 11th grade when we started dating, we’ve had a lot of life lived since then. The cool thing though… while we’ve each grown in our own ways, we’ve also grown together…making our relationship grow even stronger. And, while yes, we still have a lot of life and growth ahead, I love where we are at right now. But, guess what? I’ll probably love where we are in 25 years even more.

 

I hope you enjoyed reading my book (not quite a novel) today. If you can’t tell, I love my husband and I’m so grateful for these five years and am excited to see what thee next five years bring. For now, I’m signing off with the song that Ryan and I danced to at our wedding.